Sleeping with real women is so 2015 …

Technology makes everything better. People used to walk everywhere like a bunch of suckers — but now they can take those stupid-looking powered "hoverboard" thingies instead of actually using their leg muscles. 

Thanks science! And the natural extension to that obviously has to do with humping. Ian Pearson, a full time futurologist (which is apparently a thing), has written an entire book about how technology will impact the sexy world of sex, and man, are we gonna hump some robots soon. Check out the sexy cover:

Damn, that's hot. He predicts that with the rise of virtual reality headsets, Google Glass and the advances in sexy tech, we'll be getting nasty without other real people around on the reg. He even accounts for social privilege in his findings: wealthy one-percenters could have fully fledged sex robots in their home as early as 2025. By 2030, virtual reality sex toys will be commonplace, and by 2050, human-robot sex will be more common than human-human sex.

Soon, we'll all look like this horny Jesus trying to fuck a hologram:

Sounds like fun, huh? You can check out his entire thesis right here. It's a pretty great read.

If you don't have time to wait until 2050 and need some cyborg poon right now, PornHub has just released its "TwerkingButt" complete with VR goggles. You can even control it with your phone. Wow. 

And for the introductory price of only $500, it's a steal. If you need us, we'll be in our rooms. But leave us alone for a while, okay?