Introducing the Wankband, the new wearable device from Pornhub that converts the kinetic energy from your me time into usable electricity to power devices. That's right, it's time to stop jacking off … and start jacking on.

When you're jacking off, you're kind of wasting your life. Why not "jack on" and put your insatiable drive for self-touching to good use?

Introducing the Wankband, the new wearable device from Pornhub that converts the kinetic energy from your me time into usable electricity to power devices. That's right, it's time to stop jacking off … and start jacking on.

From the makers themselves:

Every day, millions of hours of adult content are consumed online, wasting energy in the process and hurting the environment. At Pornhub we decided to do something about it. Introducing The Wankband: The first wearable tech that allows you to love the planet by loving yourself.

This. Can't. Be. Real.

… But it is! You're not dreaming! You can change the world with your horniness! Aah!

The Wankband creates power every time you move your arm up and down, much like a penis turbine.  Inside the band, a kinetic energy charger stores the energy you've created, which you can then use to power any of your devices.

iPhone dead? Jack off. Laptop on it's last legs? Touch yourself, mmm, yeah. Vibrator fizzling out? You're not having sex tonight, you're jacking off. Give your dick a high five.

On the flip side, as long as there's Wankband, you can never use the "my cell phone died" excuse again. Shit.

But beyond ruining your relationships, there really are no limits for the amount of good the Wankband can do. In fact, the makers of the bracelet challenged their fans to come up with some novel uses for the technology, and for something relayed by vigorous masturbation, they're surprisingly humanitarian:

… As if the previous absence of the Wankband was the only thing keeping this future political dynamo from taking office! See what wanking does for society? It enriches it with protein and sperm.

No word yet how much this little slice of heaven is going to cost; it's still in Beta testing at Pornhub. But, if you want to be a Wankband Beta tester, all you have to do is sign up here.

Merry Wankmas, minions.