Apparently, 80 percent of people have sex-like orgasms from listening to music. Later, vibrator. Nice knowin' ya!
Of all the things that can make you come on this cold, floating space orb we live on, your boyfriend is definitely not one of them. And your girlfriend … well … we all know you make yourself come in that dance of the devil.
Well, lucky for you, scientists have discovered that there's a ridiculously easy way to make yourself orgasm that's blissfully devoid of human interaction, and it's as simple as listening to your favorite song. Which better not fucking be "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry. It just better not be.
Researchers from Wesleyan University have discovered that the simple act of listening to music actually induces the feeling of sex-like orgasms, a phenomenon they call frisson. Apparently, the intense physical reaction most people have when they hear their favorite song activates the same neurological pathways that drugs and boning do, leading to a physical state that mirrors orgasm. It's not uncommon for people to experience trembling, facial flushing, sweating and even sexual arousal when their jam comes on the airwaves.
"Pony" by Ginuwine? We thought so.
This reaction is so common in fact, that the researchers found that 80 percent of the listeners in their study exhibited orgasmic reactions to music. "You see a similar response when people take drugs or have sex, which may explain why we find shiver-inducing songs so addictive," said the researchers to Daily Mail.
However, there's a clear differentiation between frisson and orgasm: Frisson is simply a "pleasurable sensation" which can affect different parts of the body, whereas orgasm is a result of manual stimulation and primarily based right in your dick clit. Of course, some sects of humanity believe you can orgasm in your throat, in your ovaries or in your brain, but by and large … orgasm = dick clit, frisson = not that.
Even more interesting, the physiological changes experienced during frisson are most noticeable during particular points in a song. With the help of the fMRI scans, the researchers were able to pinpoint sonic qualities that induced an orgasm-like state such as changes in harmony, dynamic leaps and melodic appoggiaturas.
Oh, you don't know what an appoggiatura is? Clearly you've never experienced pleasure.
Upon further research, the researchers also made the dumbfounding discovery that people experience the most frisson while listening to pop or … folk music. Mandolins and tales of Civil war deserters apparently make our nation's ovaries pulsate and its penises harder than the ninth level of Tetris.
So, why does this happen? Why are human bodies programmed for horniness at the slightest hint of melodrama in a song?
One explanation involves the release of dopamine, the hormone responsible for emotions and feelings of euphoria. It would make sense that dopamine gets released when people are listening to their favorites songs, causing frissons to occur. Another possible theory that could explain frisson is that the sensation might be related to the auditory area of the brain, which is believed to be linked to the emotional and rewards processing regions of the brain.
Either way, we're about to have a very long and heavily romantic night with ourselves and the O Brother Where Art Thou sound track. Wanna come?