Apaprently, coffee is the Viagra of the beverage world.
Coffee is, by far, the greatest of all the brown fluids. It's delicious hot or cold, it makes you feel like you just snorted steroids, it makes you poop, and it tastes like angel tears. All unbeatable attributes if you ask us.
But now, a recent study published in PLOS ONE has found that coffee can do even more for you than previously thought: it can make sex better as well. It's a miracle!
Specifically, drinking 2-3 cups of it per day can improve penile health and reduce erectile dysfunction by a throbbing 42 percent. And we're pretty sure no one, be they male, female, or a fascinating combination of the two, has ever objected to a more enthusiastic boner.
Of course if you're reading this, we're guessing you're too young, hairless and nubile to be affected by E.D., even though 18 million men under the age of 20 have it. However, we're about 1,000 percent sure you've experienced E.D.'s crazier cousin, whiskey dick, at some point in the early stages of your life. And whether that whiskey dick is attached to your lower torso or that of your partners, it's more than enough to ruin a night. Or a day. Or an afternoon … We don't know your mating habits.
No matter; coffee does the same thing for whiskey dick as it does for E.D., which is to increase blood flow to the dick-region. In laymen’s terms, it relaxes the penile arteries, enhances blood flow, and makes it easier for penis to become engorged. The effect even holds true for men with obesity and/or high blood pressure.
Of course, you have to drink enough coffee to reap the benefits of its weener-enhancing effects, but considering there's a Starbucks on every block in this god-forsaken society, that shouldn't be too hard (pun intended).