When havin' a little fun going horribly wrong, no one wins.
If you like to spend your afternoons cramming anything smaller than a bowling ball up your back door, we say, "Give 'er hell." People should be able to do whatever it is that blows their hair back — but when you get drunk and end up in the hospital because that Buzz Lightyear doll just won't come out, now there's a problem. We wish this photo wasn't real, but it is.
You've certainly got a friend in me.
So the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System just released their stats for ER visits relating to anus-play gone wrong, and a damn lot of hospital time got wasted on people that didn't know how to hold on to their toys.
Between 2009 and 2014, there were an estimated 17,968 emergency room visits for foreign bodies stuck in a rectum. About three-quarters of patients were male, and as you might expect, many of the foreign bodies were sex toys. But, perhaps unexpectedly, about 60 percent of those foreign bodies were not sex toys.
Even better than numbers though, are the doctors' notes about each "incident." Man, you guys must not have Netflix or something.
Come on, guys. Cram anything you want up there, but don't waste the precious time of the doctors. Play it safe out there.