A doctor has developed a machine that's capable of giving women face-melting orgasms at the push of a button, which sounds so great that we totally forgot to mention the part where they put electrodes in your spinal cord.
A doctor has developed a machine that's capable of giving women face-melting orgasms at the push of a button, which sounds so great that we totally forgot to mention the part where they put electrodes in your spinal cord to make it possible.
Stuart Meloy, the North Carolina surgeon who developed the cum machine, thinks that it could rekindle the spark between old lovers or help women who have difficulty reaching orgasm.
He came up with the idea while performing a procedure on a female patient's spinal cord. He was positioning electrodes when she started "exclaiming emphatically." When he asked her what the fuck she was talking about, she said, "You're going to have to teach my husband to do that." They both laughed, completely ignoring the fact that she was having an orgasm while her spine was hanging out of her body. Naturally, Dr. Meloy thought he'd like to offer women the experience of orgasm while being fileted again, so he developed a special orgasm machine.
The device, which is about the size of a pack of cigarettes, uses electrodes attached to the patient's spine to trigger an orgasm via remote control. But the procedure to implant the electrodes is, well, invasive.
During the operation, a patient would "remain conscious so that a surgeon could correctly pinpoint the right nerves to fit the electrodes in a patient’s spinal cord. Then, a signal generator would be connected which would be most likely implanted under the skin of a patient’s buttocks." Uh…
… Sorry, where were we? We were just looking for a pen to sign up with and something to hide our boners under.
You know what? We think that for now, we'll casually avoid having to undergo spinal surgery so we can orgasm, and we'll just stick to watching this clip from The Naked Gun.