People are buying pills to make their poop sparkle, and it’s time you did too.

Today's standards of beauty are more stringent than ever. Who amongst us hasn't wrestled with the desire for physical flawlessness? We know we have (*single tear rolling down). Increasingly, society demands that every part of us is aesthetically perfect. But what about the parts you can't see until they fall out of your butthole into the toilet?

Today's standards of beauty are more stringent than ever. Who amongst us hasn't wrestled with the desire for physical flawlessness? We know we have (*single tear rolling down). Increasingly, society demands that every part of us is aesthetically perfect. But what about the parts you can't see until they fall out of your butthole into the toilet?

Meet Glitter Pills; your personal poop perfection pal.

No longer shall your shits be sad or your poops pallid; with Glitter Pills, they'll always sparkle with the aggressive intensity of a thousands suns and indigestion. Let Glitter Pills make you as beautiful on the inside as some people say you are on the outside.

The mere fact that you can take a creamy bowl of clam chowder and use the insides of your body to turn it into a smelly brown cylinder is nothing short of a miracle. Why dull that marvel by dropping a drab deuce?

Pop a Glitter Pill and watch as your mother-lode is made over into a sparkling disco ball of flirty fun.

Glitter Pills come in a variety of butt baby beautifying shades. Look!

CU colors!

Slut shades!

Patriotic poopers!

Jesus' birthday!

The makers of Glitter Pills are so sure of their power make your farts fabulous, that, when asked the question "Will these make my poop glittery?" they said, "We have no idea." Bon-a-fide!

But Glitter Pills don't just beautify your bowels; they also serve as effective diversion for when you forget to flush the toilet. Upon happening upon your doobie, your roommate or mom or combination of both will be too entertained and/or deeply concerned that there's glitter in the toilet to get mad at your terrible dirty habits!

The bottom line is that Christmas is coming around, so why not give the gift of ethereal gleaming glitter shits? Your loved ones will be so thankful … once they get used to their colocstemy bags.