Last year, a particularly weird NFL ad for Super Bowl L featured a choir of "Super Bowl babies" — people who were mysteriously born exactly nine months after their parents' team won the big game.
It was notable because they were singing Seal's "Kiss From a Rose," and that doesn't make any sense at all, but more so because it portrayed everyone from infants to 49-year-olds celebrating the fact that the Super Bowl indirectly gave them life. The implication here is that the excitement from the Super Bowl game causes overwhelming lust and procreative banging, but … are Super Bowl babies an actual thing?
More specifically, is it true that birth rates actually spike in winning cities nine months after the date of the game?
The ad claims it is.
"Data suggests 9 months after a Super Bowl victory, winning cities see a rise in births," it says. However, that's a bunch of baloney because as of today, exactly zero studies have been done to address the correlation between Super Bowl wins and babies exploding forth from the womb.
There is, however, some research about how sports victories in general can inspire people to knock each other up in cities whose team won a game.
In Spain, a handful of studies have suggested that birth rates skyrocket a conspicuous nine months after a local team wins a game, and, Boston experienced its own baby boom nine months after the Red Sox won the world series in 2004. Additionally, multiple hospitals in New Zealand reported more human spawn than usual nine months after the country's smack-down of France during the rugby World Cup.
Likewise, the Craigslist personals sections is known to light up like a Christmas tree in cities competing in the Super Bowl with ads written by people begging to "take one for the team" or "hit a home run with a lucky lady."
From the looks of this graph, it appears that people want to throw more balls around than are on the field.
This sports-makes-me-pregnant phenomenon probably has something to do with the fact that winning, or even the anticipation of it, is known to increase testosterone, the hormone that makes you horny. Even being a spectator to someone else's win — i.e. you watching your team — can cause the hormone to surge, making the Kyles and Katies of the world curiously horny for each other as they share the seven-layer bean dip in front of the big screen.
Yet, while that clears up why everyone's trying to bone during the various touch-downs and yard-balls or whatever you call them, it doesn't quite explain why that leads to pregnancy.
Our money's on alcohol and the sedative effect of seven-layer bean dip but hey — we're no rocket-doctors.
All that said, exercise contraceptive caution this coming Sunday when the Big Men play the Padded Brothers in Super Bowl LI … it's a fertile time for everyone.