Hmm … if this is what people want, then we're in the wrong country. 

We always thought looking like Brad Pitt in Fight Club would guarantee us some ladies, but it turns out that just ain't true when you start trying to pick up babes around the world. 

In a new project by Superdrug's "Perceptions of Perfection" project, researchers sent a picture of a New York based-photographer to freelance designers around the world, with the challenge to make him look more attractive.

So they started with the most bland, dumpy white guy they could find:

Yeah, we don't know what's wrong with his feet either.

Anyway, then they asked people from countries around the world to Photoshop him into the "ideal man" based on their preferences. And that's when shit got weird. 

Of course, Americans look like a rejected member of the Jersey Shore:

China has lost a lot of weight but might be suffering from jaundice:

We've never seen an Egyptian dude this shredded, but the hair looks about right:

Russia grew some man titties, but he'll need them to wrestle bears, so it's fine. 

Bangladesh found some sweet silk boxers and a creepy grey tan, but we love him anyway. 

Now we're moving to Australia ASAP, because we'd be a perfect ten down under. 

And we might stay away from South Africa, because it looks like people get covered in a lot of weird shadows down there. 

If you wanna see where your lumpy, pale body might look the best, you can see all 17 right here