Pornhub is not a good place to “feel the Bern” but that’s stopping no one from doing it.

Bernie Sanders supporters might not turn out in the primaries, but they definitely turn out on Pornhub according to a recent survey which found that horny masturbators overwhelmingly want him as President. Well … that explains where the hell they were last week.

Over the course of the last week of February, more than 371,000 Pornhub users were straightforwardly asked: “Which 2016 Presidential Candidate are you most likely to support?” The results were tallied accordingly and if the masturbating, politically-motivated minds of the interweb are any sort of bellwether whatsoever, we’re looking at a Trump vs. Sanders showdown of epic proportions.


The survey, undertaken by Pornhub and, found that 31.1 percent of users wanted Bernie in the White House, a veritable landslide victory over Trump, who only received a paltry 19.6 percent of Pornhub user’s votes.  In this scenario, the second place recipient was literally no one, with over a quarter of users actually choosing to vote for none of the candidates in the field to be president.

The long-time Vermont senator received a whopping 73.4 percent of the Democratic votes, with Hilary posting a measly 26.6 percent, despite having sufficient mammaries to demand a Pornhub visitor’s attention. As far as the Republican candidates go, Trump took the largest slice of the pie with 60.5 percent of the vote, Marco Rubio came in a distance second with 19.6 percent, with the remaining 19.6 percent claiming support for the suddenly cognizant mass of smegma that is Ted Cruz. Although in all fairness and for objectivity sake, these numbers could easily have been swayed after a viewing of the wildly popular Donald Trump porn parody featuring Dick Chibbles and Trinity St. Clair. Yes, Dick Chibbles.

The survey makes no mention of why horny people love Bernie Sanders so much, or why they're choosing to express their love via vehement genital battery as opposed to votes, but we have to believe it has something to do with his smile.

We’re fairly certain this survey will be about as predicatively useful as a reading of the tea leaves; however, in an era where individuals are this cynical about the candidates in the field, anything to lighten the mood is sorely welcome as we march towards the mystic tanned drumbeat of Trumpageddon.

Image cred: Al Jazeera