Because you can’t have boring sex on a lichen.

Colorado’s wilderness is so beautiful, you’d be stupid not to bone in its majesty. But since not every family of four and endangered mountain cat wants to see that, we’ve got a few tips for keeping your outdoor sex safe, private, and most importantly: fun.

The bad news …
While it’s inarguably a beautiful act of primal pleasure, outdoor sex is also very illegal … if you get caught. In that case, say hello to a misdemeanor for public indecency and/or indecent exposure, possible jail time, and fines of up to $5,000 (depending on your priors). Oh, and if you’re really unlucky, you may have to comply with sex offender regulations. Way to kill the vibe.

Outdoor Sex by the Numbers


Percent of Americans that have had sex outdoors or in a public place, according to an ABC News poll.


Percentage of people that think doggy style is the best outdoor sex position. Standing up doggy is even better in case you need to run from bears.


The percentage Republicans are more likely than Democrats to have sex outside, according to dating app Clover.