Don’t worry, because no matter what job you get, experts probably still agree you’ll never be able to afford rent in Colorado anyways.

“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.”
                           ― Ellen Goodman

Damn you Ellen, you really know how to speak all this logic in a world of failed perspective; damn you with that kind of common sense!

Though … she has a point. What drives this idea of “success” and what can we do to achieve it? Well, that paradoxical struggle is all internal to the being, so have at it. We try not to meddle in others’ crises. It gets messy.

But a new study conducted by thinks it has the answers to at least partially help with the frustrating struggle. What are the best (and worst) jobs in today’s market? Executive barista? Yodeling amphitheater groundskeeper? Blue Ivy’s diaper assisting lackey? Shockingly none of these!

While creating the list, data scientists ranked jobs using five core metrics. Favorable hiring outlook, stress, environment, income and the basis of future opportunities were all used to score over 200 occupations in various industries.

To err on the side of caution, suggests meddling away hours of your life embedded in the healthcare or information technology areas — two fields with the most promising growth and beginning salaries — while staying away from grueling tasks like chopping wood or handing the elderly their mail.

But don’t worry, because no matter what job and its accompanying salary eventually finds its way into your livelihood, experts still agree you’ll probably never be able to afford rent in Colorado anyways. Good thoughts!


10. Computer Systems Analyst
9. Occupational Therapist
8. Software Engineer
7. Dental Hygienist
6. Data Scientist
5. Biomedical Engineer
4. Statistician
3. Mathematician
2. Audiologist
1. Actuary


10. Mail Carrier
9. Firefighter
8. Taxi Driver
7. Corrections Officer
6. Photojournalist
5. Broadcaster
4. Cook
3. Enlisted military personnel
2. Lumberjack
1. Newspaper reporter (*cue sad horn*)