The main problem with life is that at some point it stops. Between now and then, however, we all want to look our best. We want to look our best because our attention-seeking selves can’t help but bask in the validation of attention. Our gift to you: Packaged sex appeal.
The main problem with life is that at some point it stops. Between now and then, however, we all want to look our best. We want to look our best because our attention-seeking selves can’t help but bask in the validation of attention. Our gift to you: Packaged sex appeal.
Bear Face Beard Oils:
With trends in fashion comes the inevitable oversaturation of the market with underused accessories. Plenty of products out there claim to do things we only wish they actually did. The beard barons behind the beard oils from Brighton, UK, are not dirty little liars and actually have a product that does what it says it will do. Their line of beard oils remarkably soften the wiry mass of bush on your mug and lends it a shine comparable most to the glare of sunlight on the freshest of powder.
With four flavors to choose from, there’s easily one for every taste, ranging from the unobtrusive bare scent to the rugged and wildly popular spicy scent. They’re like fancy-smelling endorphins for your face. A beard is a man’s baby; do you really want to neglect a baby?
Jack Black Hand and Body Lotions:
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Have you ever wandered down the grooming aisles of a grocery store in the south and noticed how few lotions they have on the shelves? No matter the snow-dumping season, Colorado remains dry as fuck. Because we choose to live at an obnoxious altitude, the catastrophic result is flakier and moisture-stripped skin. We’re dryer than a dromedary’s windpipe, which remains as unattractive as ever.
Jack Black lotions contain a natural and superior formula that does away with the greasy aftermath. Most of its products actually attack dually. The moisturizers have added sunscreen, shave creams moisturize while they protect, and there’s even an all-in-one body, hair and face wash. The most impressive aspect of these products is that a little goes such a long way.
Mitch Hair Styling Products:
Is it safe to say yet that the Jersey Shore blowout and indie rock quaff style is a storied thing of the past? We get it, individualism and all that, but it’s time to leave those to the books. We’re not claiming we’ve never had regrettable hairstyles, but change is good, it's here, and the catalyst is Paul Mitchell’s Mitch.
Launched in 2011, the Mitch products are designed for men interested in the way they look, but what sets them apart from the hundreds of other options on the market is each product’s specificity to popular styles, manageable price, ease of washability and tailored smells that aren’t overbearing. Our favorites were the barber’s classic pomade and construction paste. For those rocking the ever-so-trendy pompadour this year, we suggest the steady grip firm hold gel. Visit Mitch’s online grooming tutorial videos if you have absolutely no idea what we’re talking about right now.
Tea Tree Shampoo, Conditioner and Body Wash:
We don’t really hold any value to what your filthy little smog-bucket friends say; showering is cool. Let’s focus on you here so that we can up your game in the bathing department. First thing is first, bar soap is for grandpas and inmates, so ditch the block of whale byproduct. Go out and get yourself some of Tea Tree’s showering utilities. When you do, you’ll notice a new man (or woman) staring back at you in the mirror, Rooster’s honor.
The Paul Mitchell Tea Tree product line boasts a lot of great components, but we dig the shower staples more so than anything else. The lemon sage body wash pummels competition in the stink department and looks respectable sitting there on the bathtub rim when guests that you sleep with decide to drop in. Also we were hesitant at first about the lemon sage shampoo and conditioner’s claim of being a thickening agent for hair, but were oddly surprised at the honest results. We could get into the why and how it all works, but that’s just not us. You know, science and stuff.
Burt’s Bees Lip Shit:
Sometimes Netflix documentaries keep us up at night and lately it's been the one that claims we’re killing all of the bees. The bees are dying, and we feel helpless. We can’t imagine a world without them, but apparently one day we just might have to. This is why we support Burt’s Bees. If it all hits the proverbial fan, we have a feeling it’d be the business to step up because, well, it uses natural beeswax, and without the little buzzers alive, profits may feel the punch. Protecting investments, the American way.
Aside from our unfounded anxiety over the loss of bees, the Burt’s Bees lip stuff is pages ahead of the rest. While the price point is a little higher than some of the more popular brands, you definitely get what you pay for. We’re high altitude here, so protection is key. Hang nails don’t belong on your lips.
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