It's 12:30 p.m.

Do you know where your vagina is?

If you're 44 percent of women, no, you don't.

According to a fucking insane survey by Eve Appeal, a UK charity gynecological cancers research, that's how many women were unable to correctly identify the vagina on a medical illustration of the female reproductive tract.

Even more very confused survey respondents failed at identifying the vulva — 60 percent weren't quite sure if it was near the opening or four miles away at the nearest Super Target shopping for deals on cat litter.

Only one third of the women had any idea where their vulvas, vaginas, cervixes, uteri, fallopian tubes, and ovaries were on a medical diagram.

While this is definitely startling, this lack of knowledge isn't UK-specific. A smaller study of 236 US college students conducted in 2010 found 74 percent of men and 46 percent of women questioned were unable to identify the cervix, while a startling 80 percent of men and 62 percent of women in the study were unable to locate the vagina correctly. In contrast, 73 percent of women and 56 percent of men in the US cohort were able to identify the clitoris — on a diagram, at least. And if you've ever been near a clit, you know it's a lot easier on a diagram than a lady.

This is … unspeakably insane to us. We all went through basic sex ed multiple times in middle school, high school and college. We've all certainly put our vaginas and vulvas to good use since then. How is it that we're unable to correctly tell which warm, wet meaty thing is the hole and which is the dangly part?

Where's the beef? The beef curtains, to be exact?

Here's a illustration of the female reproductive area just to jog your memory of how simple this is … pretty sure the vagina is a standout landmark, no?

Eve Appeal surveyed over 1,000 women in order to glean this troubling information. They were interested in whether a lack of anatomical knowledge amongst women put them at increased cancer risk, and seeing as how people can't find their vaginas any better than they can MH-370, we'd guess it might.

"The lack of basic knowledge about the female body is extremely worrying," Tracie Miles, a specialist gynecological cancer information Nurse at the Eve Appeal, said in a press release. "How can we expect women to know what to look out for in terms of unexpected changes in their vagina or vulva, or to be aware of the signs and symptoms of a gynecological cancer if they're not body-aware?"

However, what's more important than whether you know where your fallopian tubes are is that you feel comfortable talking to your doctor about your body. Hopefully you know that if you have any sort of confusion whatsoever, your gynecologist (or family care doctor, or Planned Parenthood specialist) is trained in female reproductive anatomy, and will not hesitate to explain it to you, sans judgment. It's their job to make sure you know what's going on in your pussy area; shit they got a job studying it — we can promise you they don't mind talking about it.

As Helen Stokes-Lampard, spokesperson for the Royal College of GPs in the UK, told VICE, "It is vital that people understand what is normal for themselves, so that when they notice changes in their bodies and their health, they are aware and can seek help."

So … talk to your doctor ladies. Or write our sex expert Dear Ibby at if you have any questions about where your vagina is. Let's take that number from 44 percent to zero.

You, meet vagina. Vagina, meet you. Great.