According to some intrepid field reporting conducted by the surely-reputable website Youngragers.com, CU-Boulder is the 15th easiest school to get laid at. And while we'd like to congratulate you all on your belief in free sexual expression, it's highly unlike us to be ranked anywhere after #10 on any list, so we're wondering if these "Young Ragers" just showed up in Boulder during a blizzard or 4/20 or something.

According to some intrepid field reporting conducted by the surely-reputable website Youngragers.com, CU-Boulder is the 15th easiest school to get laid at. And while we'd like to congratulate you all on your belief in free sexual expression, it's highly unlike us to be ranked anywhere after #10 on any list, so we're wondering if these "Young Ragers" just showed up in Boulder during a blizzard or 4/20 or something.

In fact, we're deeply interested in their research methods. What did they do, go to every school in the country and see how many people fell for the line, "People call me John, but you can call me tonight!"? They said they compiled the list based on "research, surveys and good ole field work," but that seems highly improbably given today's research-funding climate.

Anyway, we have a better tip for getting laid than sending the top 10 school on this list your SAT scores. It's called take your pants off.

That being said, we'd like to get our numbers up. Mostly because more people having more sex makes everyone happier, and when everyone is happier, everyone forgets that we owe them $20. We're just saying, this could be very beneficial, so start shackin' up, you two.

Not surprisingly, Arizona State University clocked in at No. 1 in the slutty school category. There's just something in that arid desert climate that makes post-adolescent hormones run amok. The most virtuous, abstaining school was some bizarro thing called the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, so … don't go there, or do if you want to end up on Dr. Phil talking about how your 12 children have changed your life.

Bottom line: It's not like the CU-Buffs are winning anything this year, so be the winners your school deserves and let's get our ranking up to #1. Or #69. Whatever.