Hey, can't somebody get these guys laid!?

A battalion of hookers. A train full of zeros and ones. Old chicks. Blind ones. Third world refugee darlings dying for green cards.

Won't somebody have sex with these desperate young men — Islamic terrorists and alt-right assholes — and get them to calm down and stop murdering people?

It may seem absurd, but we saw again this week what angry young virgins are capable of.

On Monday afternoon, a van driver in Toronto mounted a busy sidewalk and began plowing through pedestrians, killing 10 and injuring 14. Just minutes before his violent rampage, the attacker posted to Facebook to declare that “the incel rebellion has already begun, we will overthrow all the Chads and Stacys.”

The message has brought new attention to the "incel" movement, a community of men who are involuntarily celibate. Just like Islamic extremists, who must cope with extreme sexual repression until they’re awarded their 72 virgins in the afterlife, the incels are also deprived of sexual gratification. Its likely no coincidence that both groups have turned to terrorism.

The attacker’s Facebook post goes on to declare “all hail the supreme gentleman Elliot Rodger!” In 2014, Elliot Rodger murdered six people and injured fourteen others in a rampage near the campus of University of California, Santa Barbara. Rodger left behind a long manifesto describing his rage that women had rejected him and that he was still a virgin at age 22.

The incel group worships Elliot Rodger and his manifesto. He inspired the common lexicon of the boys club, including coining “Chads and Stacys” to refer to the attractive men and women who have sex with one another, and have cruelly excluded the incels from the sexually active in-crowd.

The incels are one segment of a collection of misogynistic men’s movements including men’s rights activists, pick-up artists, and Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), straight dudes who have sworn off relationships with women forever.

All of the groups are united by their catastrophic failure with women, explains Solaris, senior figure in the Men Going Their Own Way, a like-minded “male empowerment” community. Incels, however, stand out for their hateful speech and proclivity for violence.

These aren’t young men suffering from some short dry spell. These dudes have endured an entire lifetime of never touching a woman, and a lot of them are pretty pissed about it.

“The members feel victimized in some way, like they haven’t been allowed to take part in society,” Solaris tells Rooster. “In any community that feels marginalized, there’s probably going to be some undercurrent of anger.”

Many are calling for the van attack to be recognized as an act of terrorism. Whether it’s scrawny little white boys going on killing sprees or balaclava-masked Middle Eastern men, they have similar reasons for inflicting devastation on innocent civilians. They attach themselves to a militant organization that gives them a sense of purpose, and want to become heroes of their own story.

They also share the element of sexual deprivation, which is significant given that sex is a proven outlet to relieve frustrations that could otherwise escalate to violence. Studies have shown that decriminalizing prostitution and making sex an easy-to-buy commodity results in a drastic drop in violent crimes like rape and assault.

Rather than provide a safe, lawful way to get these hopeless men laid, the government makes it harder to find sexual services online. They push for mass censorship of the internet — failing to realize their efforts do far more harm than good — but did we really expect them to know any better? They haven’t even been able to figure out how Facebook works.

Tens of thousand of Incels from all over the world still congregate in a number of online forums, with Reddit as one of the most prominent meeting points. On Reddit, the Incels created a support group to vent their frustrations about how they want to have sex with women, "but those stuck-up cunts won’t let them."

The Incels’ Reddit community was banned several months ago for glorifying and inciting violence, but a replacement popped up almost immediately. In the wake of the Toronto tragedy, the community adopted the attacker as a “new saint.”

“Spread that name, speak of his sacrifice for our cause, worship him for he gave his life for our future,” one poster wrote on incel.me, another forum where incels congregate.

On Tuesday, their hero was charged with 10 counts of first degree murder and 13 counts of attempted murder.