Having 100 orgasms a day is the penultimate dream come true for anyone who still has a Playboy subscription or an unfortunately-endowed boyfriend. But when that dream becomes a reality … the reality is more of a nightmare. Didn't that sound like the intro to a Fox News report?

Having 100 orgasms a day is the penultimate dream come true for anyone who still has a Playboy subscription or an unfortunately-endowed boyfriend. But when that dream becomes a reality … the reality is more of a nightmare. Didn't that sound like the intro to a Fox News report?

Anyway, Wisconsin man Dale Decker knows exactly what having 100 orgasms a day is like … and it's not pretty. He's unable to function normally due to a condition called Persistant Sexual Arousal Syndrome, which he developed after slipping a disc in his spine in 2012. During the ambulance ride to the hospital, he had five orgasms alone, and after that, they never stopped.

Since then, he's been unable to work, as he can't control when an orgasm comes on (puns). He can hardly go out in public for fear of orgasming in little kid's face at the grocery store or cumming his pants near an old lady, so he stays inside for most of the day. It's so bad, that he couldn't even attend his father's funeral without cumming nine times in front of his entire family. Dear god.

And while most women would pay to be married to a man who can make sweet love to her all day, all night, then all day again, then all night again; Dale's problem has alienated him from his wife more than ever. They're sex life is the opposite of what you'd think it would be for someone who has a 24/7 boner, and they've elected to sleep in separate beds because he orgasms in his sleep.

"There's nothing pleasurable about it," he told BTV reporters. "Even though it might physically feel good, the whole time inside your mind, you're completely disgusted by what's going on."

Holy christ. And we thought cumming once a day was more than enough.

Here's Dale talking about what it's like to live with PSAS. Anytime your girlfriend or boyfriend complains about you not being able to make them come … just casually refer them to this.