They say there’s someone for everyone, and after diving head first into the dark cesspools of cyber match-making, we’re sure that’s true. Here are some of the weirdest, real dating websites, in case you’re not having any luck finding cat-loving, hot-sauce guzzling gangs of sister-wives to spend the rest of your days with.
They say there’s someone for everyone, and after diving head first into the dark cesspools of cyber match-making, we’re sure that’s true. Here are some of the weirdest, real dating websites, in case you’re not having any luck finding cat-loving, hot-sauce guzzling gangs of sister-wives to spend the rest of your days with.
« Misstravel.com
Sexy stir-crazy singles log onto misstravel.com to find attractive, rich jet-setters who want company on their foreign holidays and business trips. Before you travel, look up someone you’d like to get cozy with, or even allow someone to “sponsor” your lavish trip. This way you’re not scraping the bottom of the Dutch barrel like you did last time you were in Amsterdam. Nothing says love like a week in Morocco with a strange man who continually feeds you chocolate-covered raisins.
« Mylovelyparent.com
Redeem yourself for running off so many of your mom’s suitors when you were 7 years old, and sign your parent up for mylovelyparent.com. You and other worried, regretful kids will swap parents like Pokemon cards. This is actually a lot safer than letting them figure out the online dating world anyway. Remember when you had to explain what a BBW ISO NSA W/S play with a W/E CD meant?
« DarwinDating.com
Wanna help improve the human gene pool? Sign up for Darwin Dating. It’s “online dating without the ugly people.” You’ll have a harder time getting on this site than the guy in flip flops at the club. If you have red hair, long arms or are particularly hairy, sorry, nobody is interested. But if we are to create a society of nothing but beautiful people, guess you gotta start somewhere. Right?
« Theuglybugball.com
If you consider yourself aesthetically average, on the other hand, the uglybugball is where you’ll find someone just as garish as you. Sift through unflattering profile pics, and start to feel confidence in your snaggletooth. And, if you’re just looking to get some grotesque bump and grind on, there’s an NSA version of the site, too.
« Stachpassions.com
Beards in the wild are intimidating. If moustache rides are the only rides you get on and full beards turn your gears, we’ve got a dating site for you. This way you can browse the inventory from afar and hand select the handlebars that suit your style.
« Dateagolfer.com
Need someone who knows his way around a hole? Date a golfer.
« Videogamerdating.com
Life is hard for a gamer; you’re always faced with the decision of going out into the sun and finding a real person who probably will disapprove of how you spend your free time or staying in and flirting with avatar princesses who may or may not be your preferred sex. Now you can find a girl who will think twice about cutting off your head in multiplayer mode.
« Diapermates.com
There’s something satisfying about soiling yourself whenever you please, but there’s also something about an adult wearing diapers for sexual satisfaction that a majority of the population doesn’t quite understand. That’s OK, because now there’s a place where diaper fetishists can go to find people to powder, change and be in awe of their oversized nappies. And there will be no disappointment upon the reveal on the third date.
« Singleswithfoodallergies.com
If you’re tired of dates scoffing at your requests for gluten-free buns and absolutely no nuts, and are prone to blowing up like a pufferfish every time someone takes you out for oysters, find someone with the same allergies as you right here.
« Vegandatingservice.com
Vegans are a hard bunch to please. If you’ve ever dated a vegan, you know that those sorts need to be together and leave the rest of us alone.
« Waitingtillmarraige.org
If your virginity is important to you, and you want to wait until you tie the knot to get freaky, it’s not going to be easy for you finding love online. Good thing there’s this website where you can find other virgins to not bang until you get married. Don’t forget butt sex; everyone knows it’s the sex that God can’t see.
« Sisterwives.us
If you’ve only got two wives, you’re slacking. And when the women in your community are all old news or taken, head over to sisterwives.us. You’ll be able to find lonely women who won’t mind being Tuesday on your wife rotation.
« Hotsaucepassions.com
If spicing up your love life means emptying a bottle of Tobasco, rejoice that there are others out there like you. Find someone who will never send something back to the kitchen because it’s too hot, but more importantly someone who understands and accepts your need for fire crotch.
« Vampersonals.com
In a perfect world, vampires come to you, but for the lonely who not even the dead will touch, this site allows you to make the first move. Make sure you post a sexy picture of your jugular.
Leave a Reply