It's well-lit is what it is.

Doctor, doctor … what is sex like?

If you're one of the millions of uninsured Americans, chances are, you'll never know.

Thankfully, we have another way to find out about sex, without the single help of one doctor. It's called stock photography.

Here's what it can tell us about the sex:

Okay, so first you get a call from sex.

If you don't pick up, it will leave you a message.

Then, you'll roll the dice and play a game of chance to find out if sex is on the menu.

It is.

The real action happens when you find a tree.

Then, you will reveal your matching bra and panties. If you are a man, you will just sit there. Thank you.

Next up, it's time for the big reveal. The male partner's size and girth will shock you as it is a clear and present medical anamoly.

Safety first. Time to bag up that dong.

You will then question her choice of outdoor footwear in a field.

R U Ready? U R about to have intercouse …

… In this position. Always this position:

Yes. The man then will then check the woman's temperature both anally and forehead-ally.

She's fine.



It feels good. You will enjoy many sensations that prompt you towards graphic design.

Oh no, something has gone terribly wrong.

What's wrong, little guy?

Refractory period. Next up, misery.

Shortly thereafter you will be greeted by a child who brings sleep to you.

And then you will both turn into pigeons.

Don't forget to cuddle afterwards, preferably somewhere that is a seagull habitat.

You did it!