Why is it so normal for girls to get drunk and hook up with each other, but not for guys to get drunk and hook up?

Two reasons. First, if men fantasize about sexual experiences with other guys, they often don’t act on those fantasies out of fear of being labeled as gay. Dudes who dare to entertain ideas of sexual experimentation frequently do so in the context of a MMF threesome. Likely, less of a threat is posed to their sexuality if they have sex with a man while also having sex with a woman.

Second, straight dudes who do sexually experiment with other men usually don’t admit to it. Both men and women experience temporary or lasting changes in their sexual attractions, identities and behaviors, but sexual fluidity is less socially accepted for men than for women. Men are rigidly sorted into two dichotomous categories: gay or straight. While some argue that bisexuality has recently slipped into the mix, even guys who identify as bisexual are typically seen as “going through a phase” before they fully come out of the closet. 

Guys’ masculinity and heterosexuality are fragile in the sense that society is quick to revoke them at any glimpse of deviation from the norm. Talking about issues surrounding male sexuality is difficult and confusing — like eating 4 Skittles out of a butthole you only shoved 3 Skittles into. But it’s necessary to scrutinize our cultural constructs.


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