Jan. 21-Feb. 19
Even though you’re an energetic and creative lover, you’ve been off your game for the past few weeks. It’s the perfect time for experimentation in the bedroom, or the living room, or the garage. By the time you hit your stride, your partner will be screaming for more. Nicely done.

Feb. 20-Mar. 20
You’re turning heads and making love this month creating the hottest trend on record for your climate changing ass. Talk dirty and seduce your lover, using that renowned sensual energy you’re known for. You own sex appeal and are second to none in that department. Be sure to keep paper towels handy to mop up. 

Mar. 21-Apr. 20
There’s a fuck-ton of sex waiting for you this month, and it might even be with other people! Enjoy it while you can because once it’s gone, too bad. If partnered, it’s an excellent time to try new things. All of them. It’ll be fun and educational, so take notes. 

Apr. 21-May 21
May is so hot, your bedsheets are likely to catch fire. Planets align to get you laid, and you don’t even have to try. You’re sexy and you own it! You can charm the pants off of anyone. Take advantage of this flirtatious and sexy vibe and seal the deal. 

May 22-June 21
Hot-n-steamy starts your month even though you’re lousy with seductive energy. A sharp wit quick enough to slice through even the most vehement rejections will help. If you move too quickly, though, your infamous mojo will up and gojo. Slow and steady, horndog.

June 22-July 22
May begins slowly, but builds to a screaming, pull-out-your-hair, spit-on-your-neck climax by mid-month. Your hibernating sex drive will spring back to life with an audible schwIIINNG! Can you handle it? Get kinky, let loose, just make sure to clean up after yourself.

July 23-Aug. 21
You’re bringing sexy back as the month kicks off, making you want to dominate your partner, especially those that’ve been bad, bad little devils. Perhaps a spanking is in order. The moment someone tries to control you, however, it’s time to cut them loose. Leo don’t got time for that.

Aug. 22-Sept. 23
You’ve been in a sexual drought like the world has never seen. Good news … it’s coming to an end! You’re awkward at expressing yourself, but you’ll have charm, wit and more than a few toys to get over it. There’s a Gemini lurking nearby that’s had their eye on you. Why are you being so shy?

Sept. 24-Oct. 23
Party, party, party, but where’s the love when you need it? This month, you’ll find your specific kind of release, with no strings attached. New and attractive acquaintances are standing by. Just don’t get too attached. It’s all about the nookie right now, not relationships. Love responsibly.

Oct. 24-Nov. 22
You are cautioned to “keep it in your pants” this month if you want to avoid creating problems for yourself. Abstaining from sexual gratification for a couple weeks will reap tremendous rewards near the end of the month. No seances or ritual sacrifices, either. Wait until October for that.

Nov. 23-Dec. 22
Playful and fun is your modus operandi, and May is no different. You have charm and energy to spare, and your social calendar is booked. Your phone blows up with nudes. Enjoy playing the field, just don’t break any hearts or hurt someone’s feelings by being too dismissive.

Dec. 23-Jan. 20
Tense and frustrated? This month, You put the “sex” in dyslexia. After the 6th, you get the green light to express yourself in ways that will surprise even you. Whatever you do, don’t take it out on others. Treat yourself to a sexual massage with a happy ending. It will keep you from going postal.