Science says that impulsive nutjobs get more action.
You ever find yourself thinking, "Hmm, all I want is to find myself a nice boring guy that treats me like a princess and never lies to me, settle down in, oh I don't know, a quaint raised-ranch in a suburb of Connecticut, get a Golden Retriever and a mini van, and join the local PTA?" Hell no you don't! We want adventure, we want a little mess, and when it comes to bedmates, science says we like 'em a little wild and crazy.
It kind of comes as no surprise to us that we like bad boys and slightly crazy chicks. They're fun, they're dangerous, and the promise of a relationship charged with drunken late-night screaming matches that would bound to institutionalize us followed by hot and heavy, freaky if not a little masochistic make-up sex … well that just downright turns our naughty selves on.
That's an overly romanticized love portrait of two people with mythically perfect doses of crazy, and those relationships hardly end well in the real world. But it explains why crazy people get laid more, says a new study published in Evolution & Human Behavior that correlated number of partners, long-term relationship success, and number of kids with various pathological tendencies.
Researchers studied 1,000 heterosexual guys and gals, ranging from no pathological disorders to bat-shit nutty in one way or another, and you know what they found? Boring, mentally vanilla and morally upright citizens do a lot less of the dirty than their wacky counterparts.
Fernando Gutiérrez of the Hospital Clinic of Barcelona led the research. Karl Gruber, who writes for our buddies over at Scientific American, broke the study down. "Both males and females who were pathologically reckless and impetuous attracted more short-term partners than participants with average personalities," said Gruber. The crazy traits, said Gutiérrez, tended to make people seem "captivating."
For rhetorical purposes, we're pretty sure Gruber uses "short-term partners" as a nice way of saying impaired one-night-stands and friends-with-benefits types of sex, which we all really want with a reckless and impetuous member of the opposite sex.
Thanks, science, for confirming what we could never quite explain ourselves — we wanna get the curly redhead, girls-gone-wild, body-shots-on-the-bar type in the sack on a regular short-term basis. We want the bad boy to take us home and do reckless things to us and not call us the next day. They're just way more fun than average participants.
Recklessness and impetuousness aren't the only pathological traits studied. For men, those that were OCD were more likely to be in long-term relationships. Why? Because, researchers think, obsessive-compulsiveness in men tends to mean high income — almost twice that of less obsessive guys. No shame, it's evolution. We do it for the money.
Yeah, but he's got money so …
And what about crazy ladies? Gutiérrez and his team studied neuroticism in females and found that the most neurotic women had 34% more long-term mates and 73% more kids. And although this is a stretch, Gutiérrez thinks the trait may be linked to ultra-femininity. He asked a man why he married a neurotic woman, to which the man responded: “Me gusta por que es muy mujer.”
Translation? "I like her because she is 'very woman,'" meaning she's got that sexy Bertha Mason, madwoman in the attic thing going on. Sorry Jane.