This article could have been expanded into a full-length book but we had to go to lunch. Therefore, we will simply update it every week. And we'll do it with pleasure.
This article could have been expanded into a full-length book but we had to go to lunch. Therefore, we will simply update it every week. And we'll do it with pleasure.
State of the Union: Obama gives a great speech. Unfortunately, his talk is better than his walk. And it's not just Obama; it's every president. We've heard it in every State of the Union since we began speaking the english language: help the people, limit government and deliver a speech worthy of so many Youtube hits Rebecca Black curls up in a ball and cries. This mixed with the stand-up-and-clap mentality along with the analysists over-the-top recap on every major network – including the Daily Show – is what makes us drink. Heavily. The only thing that could have made that address better would have been Beyonce. And a cold pepsi soda.
The Grammys: Where do we start? The fact that only five awards were given away during the entire show – a show dedicated to awards? Or the over-budgeted performances that kept popping up like a bad std throughout the night? Or Justin Timberlake making a comeback to music? Did he ever leave music? Or Jay-Z's joke that all the media were salivating over? We still don't get it. Or Taylor Swift singing the worst song in the world? We will never ever, ever let you write another song. Or Katy Perry's boobs? Actually that was the best part of the night and for that we give this dismal network broadcast a giant thumbs up.
Sam Adams Beer: Your commercials make us feel warm inside, but the beer needs work. We get it, darker bottles, taller cardboard boxes and Sasquatch urine all make beer great. Still, we don't want to drink it and the assortment pack of dark beer should be left in Boston along with every other Boston tradition.
Weather Storm Nemo: The most epic, unbelievable, bodacious, perfect storm couldn't have been more pathetic, over-hyped and all around disappointing. The only thing more disappointing than the storm was the coverage.
M Night Shyamalan: Honestly, what's the M stand for? Fact: we don't trust people with one word or letter names: Madonna, Cher and Prince. Your movies, which we can't recall, gave us bowl movements worse than Taco Bell late-night. EXCEPT! The sixth sense was a good movie.
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