We all know you mean well, but there's a couple of things you've been doing lately that kind of, you know, make us want to eviscerate you. That being said, here are 13 ways you can stop being an accidental asshole.

We all know you mean well, but there's a couple of things you've been doing lately that kind of, you know, make us want to eviscerate you. That being said, here are 13 ways you can stop being an accidental asshole.

Saying "You look tired."

Telling someone they look tired is basically telling them that they look like a horrifying piece of dessicated poop and should have stayed home and Googled plastic surgeons instead. Refrain from this.

Not mentioning the glaringly obvious piece of food in their teeth

You should always tell someone they've got something in their teeth unless you want them to feel the scathing embarrasment of talking to their crush while a giant piece of meat dangles from their left incisor. The same goes for noticing someone's fly is unzipped, but choosing to keep that very, very valuable information to yourself and the rest of your Twitter following.

Rolling the window down … for someone else

There's a reason why there's four windows in your car, each with its own seprate up/down switch. You are not almighty. You don't know everyone's temperature needs at all times. Worry about your own shit, and leave our windows up because we're fucking cold here, okay?

Offering someone gum

This seemingly innocuous gesture basically tells the person their breath smells like shit and they need help. Whether or not that's true is another story entirely, but it doesn't matter if you're helping or hurting them; you still look like a penis.

Telling someone they're curvy

To the wrong set of ears, you're basically saying "I can tell you're not very skinny!"  Some people might appreciate your comment, but if you want to get through the day without making someone drastically question the shape of their body in relation to rigid societal standards, just stick to harder-to-misinterpret phrases like "I love your body" or "You're fat."

Texting someone a photo of yourself at a party or a show

"Look at me having so much fun without you! You're totally missing out even though I didn't invite you in the first place!" Nope, nope, and nope.

Sitting next to someone … when there's a sea of other seats

If you've ever experienced the extreme displeasure of having a stranger sit right next to you in a movie theater full of empty seats, you know what we're talking about here. Unless you're in a blizzard and in dire need of body heat or you'll freeze to death, sit in one of the million other seats you see, you creep master.

Only tipping to round up the total amount

If you're one of those OCD fools who is tormented by the concept of uneven numbers and you just tip to round out the total bill to a nice, even number, then fuck you. Fuck you so hard.

Holding the door open

Holding the door open when the person behind you is close? Gentlemanly. Holding the door open when the person behind you is say, 20 yards away, so that they have to sprint towards the door to not look like an asshole? Pure fuckery.

"You look better without makeup"

Telling a girl she looks better without makeup is basically telling her that the worst version of herself is the prettiest one. You might be totally right, but no girl thinks they look better without makeup on. If you want to tell her she looks good au naturale, just tell her she's pretty when she's not wearing and makeup and don't mention the makeup part if you want to live.

Telling someone they're the "best looking person in the room."

Wait, you mean I'm the best looking person out of two other people that are in here? Having sex with you never.

Taking up two parking spots with your dumbass car

Don't look at us in the eye until you learn to fucking drive.