Bansky makes art. Picasso makes art. Your favorite band even makes art, although that's arguable. And when girls fight? They make art too. That's because girl-fighting is a precise science that demands years of practice and know-how. But if you're like us and grew up fighting the urge to not eat that second DiGiorno, not fighting your friends, you're probably going to need this girl-fighting guide in case you ever come upon a lassie who's ready to rumble.

Bansky makes art. Picasso makes art. Your favorite band even makes art, although that's arguable. And when girls fight? They make art too. That's because girl-fighting is a precise science that demands years of practice and know-how. But if you're like us and grew up fighting the urge to not eat that second DiGiorno, not fighting your friends, you're probably going to need this girl-fighting guide in case you ever come upon a lassie who's ready to rumble.

1. First and foremost, talk it out.

Come to a fair and logical resolution that's so conclusive that it merits absolutely no fighting. Why? Because girls love to talk. Girls love to empathize. Girls love to talk and empathize about how this whole thing was just a big misunderstanding, and Jason totally said he didn't have a girlfriend, so it's not Ashely's fault that she blew him on a ferris wheel. Girls also promised some people that they'd fight after school, and by golly if they're not going to keep their words like true Americans.

2. Know your enemy.

… By finding out each other's astrological sign. Every girl fight that has ever gone down has some element in which the ladies get to know each other better. For example, "What's your birthday, bitch?" "December 3rd, whore." "Oh, cool, I'm a Sagittarius too!" Giggle, giggle, friends forever.

3. No hair pulling. 

But if there is hair-pulling to be had, be sure to lock heads like a pair of embattled mountain goats fighting for mating rights, and stomp around in a circle screaming about how nobody fucks with your weave. Allow ample time for each woman to recover and fix and preen her locks into a fight-ready style before the battle resumes.

4. Look the part.

The fight does not begin until all parties are prepared, ready, and look put-together enough for a Kohl's mid-spring online catalog. Each contestant must give the other ample time to remove any restrictive clothing or jewelry, as well as their shoes so the war can be waged with their feet properly balanced on the ground … and so you guys can show each other your super cute ying yang toe rings from Claire's!

5. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and launch your bodies at one another.

Flail, ladies, flail! Run toward each other, limbs waving like noodles in the wind, and just shake them at each other. Try to hold your opponent's stronger hand in yours while she tries to hold yours in hers.  Be indecisive about whether this is a slapping or a punching fight, and test out both techniques on the air on either side of your opponent's face. Keep your head down!

6. Throw in a little surprise at the end.

Up until this point, the girl fight was all fun and games, all part of an elaborate show put on more for the enjoyment of others that for the contestants themselves. But, if you plan ahead, you can throw a little surprise in at the end that'll ensure you reign supreme. Allow this gaggle of rural girls to demonstrate:

Right on, 'Merica!