Colorado added another shining trophy of awesomeness to the trophy case this weekend after a Longmont woman was arrested for giving haircuts while her boobs flapped around freely in the wind.
Who hasn't gone to get their luscious locks trimmed and tamed and thought, "What's really missing from this experience is a topless middle aged woman grooming my split ends?" Exactly.
That's where Longmont lady Suzette Hall comes in. Prior to her arrest and removal from the one-person deep nude hairdresser market, she was offering topless haircuts through her salon called "Rebel Beauty." Because there's nothing more rebellious than getting a crew cut from a 46-year-old grandmother with her tits out (yeah she's a grandma, this is Longmont we're talking about.)
Police started investigating Suzette after they discovered she'd been cutting hair without a cosmetology license, but they soon found that she'd been booking $45 topless haircuts through Craigslist, which smelled a lot like prostitution to them. But she had applied for a license…a "nude license for hair stylist," which totally exists. Not.
Claiming that Suzette's practice was neither "safe" nor "proper," and that she had to "have an actual license," they carted her off to the big house. She's no doubt cutting the hair of some bitch named Wanda who runs shit in the joint, silently wishing that her boobs were out to see how beautiful Wanda's new hair looks as we speak.
And that's the story of how Suzette became the first person ever to be arrested for cutting hair in the nude, kids. Doesn't Colorado rule?