Harvey Weinstein, the former Hollywood producer who was the subject of a plethora of sexual abuse allegations over the last three decades, was recently busted in jail with contraband, or as we like to call them on the outside, “Milk Duds.”
According to society’s ass-backwards moral compass, smuggling Milk Duds into prison is almost just as bad as being accused of criminal sexual acts by dozens of women over a span of at least 30 years.
According to NBC News, the bust came back in November, after Weinstein had a face-to-face meeting with his lawyer. The milk duds were confiscated by prison guards, but not before what we can only imagine was Weinstein aggressively shoving 20-30 of the caramel candies in his mouth at one time.
At first, Weinstein claimed that he brought the candy with him when he was extradited from New York, but we know better, and we’re guessing Weinstein is just lying about his lawyer, having actually snagged the contraband from Morgan Freeman’s character in The Shawshank Redemption.
Weinstein later apologized for the incident in a statement to Variety, with the general population very well aware of all the good Weinstein’s apologies have done him in the past.
“This was an innocent misunderstanding,” Weinstein said, presumably with another mouthful of milk duds. “It will not happen again. I have been a model inmate, following the rules and regulations and I am sincerely sorry.”
At presstime, it was unclear if those aforementioned rules and regulations included raping people in exchange for roles in feature films, but we digress.
In 2020, Weinstein was sentenced to 23 years in prison in New York following rape convictions of the first and third degree. The conviction is being appealed, but fret not—Weinstein’s also awaiting trial for 11 more charges of rape and sexual assault in Las Angeles.
The NBC News article concludes explaining that Weinstein is troubled by numerous health issues, including diabetes, cardiac issues, sleep apnea and eye problems, to which we at Rooster say: “Good.”
Maybe, in the future, Weinstein could receive a jawbreaker instead, before being given anymore candy.
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