Clear off the trophy mantle because CU Boulder has another partying title to add to its collection: Fourth Worst Place to Get Wasted on Campus! Congratulations, everybody!  We'll chill the champagne and Zima.

Clear off the trophy mantle because CU Boulder has another partying title to add to its collection: Fourth Worst Place to Get Wasted on Campus! Congratulations, everybody!  We'll chill the champagne and Zima.

According to a recent survey by Rehabs.com, CU Boulder came in at #4 in campus drug and alcohol arrests, while the University of Northern Colorado clinched the lucky No. 13 spot. We blame it on having to make up for the university's draconian thwarting of our annual 4/20 celebration: if they're going to make sure no one gets wasted one day a year, the rest of us are going to make sure the other 364 days are filled with fun.

Here's what other, less important schools made the list:

But while we're ever so proud of Boulder's excellent campus PD for efforts in stopping us from doing lines off the computers in Norlin, we thought we'd equip you with a few tips for evading CU Boulder's mighty, fun-destroying task force. 

1. Put your clear booze in a water bottle. There's no way you're chugging Apple McCormicks out of that Nalgene, right? Wrong, but no one has to know that. If it's brown, grab a soda, dump as much out as you want, then fill it back up with booze.

2. Your vape pen is your friend. Nothing attracts the campus PD quite like the mouthwatering scent of kush on fire. So keep your weed habit on the DL with a vape pen; the vapor it emits is basically odorless, making detection by odor virtually impossible.

3. Don't walk anywhere unless you're in crowd of non-wasted people. If you're stumbling around or walking in circles like a wounded deer who's about to become roadkill, you'll stick out like Kate Upton in the men's locker room.

4. If you have to get wasted on campus, stick to the borders. The campus PD only has jurisdiction on university property, but if you skirt the borders, they can't touch you (although the Boulder PD can).

5. You have the right to remain silent; use it.  If a campus police officer asks you if you're high, or why you're carrying a sack of cocaine, you don't have to say anything. They'll take you in if they suspect you, but if you're wasted, the time that takes might give you time to sober up so your tests show less meth or whatever in your body.

6. The busiest bathrooms are the best ones to puke/sleep/do more drugs in. The ones at the UMC are great because they're constantly packed, and there's way more students than teachers in there. That means because there's more stalls, it's less likely that people will notice that one is constantly occupied, or that you're free-basing Xanax for some reason in there.