Oftentimes, the internet is fond of asking you the question, "Is this the stupidest ___ (insert noun here) ever?"  More often than not, it's hardly the stupidest ____ (noun) ever … but in the case of this Jeopardy contestant's story, it absolutely, most definitely, certainly, without-a-doubt is the stupidest story we've ever goddamn heard. And therein lies its terrifying beauty.

Oftentimes, the internet is fond of asking you the question, "Is this the stupidest ___ (insert noun here) ever?"  More often than not, it's hardly the stupidest ___ (noun) ever … but in the case of this Jeopardy contestant's story, it absolutely, most definitely, certainly, without-a-doubt is the stupidest story we've ever goddamn heard. And therein lies its terrifying beauty.

To make matters worse, the massively-dumb story in question comes from a physics P.h.D candidate named Dan Tran, who we're sure is a regular old genius, but for some reason, that just wasn't coming across when he told his story about mixing up the sun and the moon.

Although Jeopardy vets its contestant stories ahead of time, there's nothing the show can do to prevent how the story actually comes out of a contestants' mouth … which is too bad for them, but amazing for those of us who've had similar experiences confusing things like sun and the moon, our boyfriends with our boyfriend's best friends, anti-freeze with Gatorade, and our office with our bed. It's so nice to know we're not alone. 

We even transcribed it for you because WHAT?!

So when I was a senior in high school—I took French in high school—we went on an exchange trip and we arrived incredibly jet-lagged, no cappuccino could really save us in that regard. And uh, during an open air tour bus tour in Paris, I looked up and said to my friend ‘hey, you know, the moon looks pretty bright tonight/today’ and um, they just turned to me like ‘Dan, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.’

‘And I was like, no guys it’s the sun.’ But um, but then you know it turned out it was actually the sun and not the moon and I still confuse it nowadays.

Go back to designing bridges and keeping airplanes from falling out of the sky, Dan.