We are 100 percent not jealous of these precocious little angels …

Kids are so dumb sometimes! It's like, grow up and assume some adult responsibilities or something. Get your head out of the candy jar. Get a job!

Since you asked, no, we're not just old and jealous of youth. We absolutely do not want to go back to simpler times when getting your head caught between furniture posts was the worst part of the day. Paying taxes is fun, and dealing with crappy adults is what we've always dreamed of doing. We are 100 percent not jealous of these precocious little angels …