We don't care how long you've waited after eating to swim, you are officially never allowed to go into the sea again. Don't argue with us … just take off your floaties and get in the car. Because given what happened to this man during his little ocean frolic, it's no wonder sea life sprouted legs a billion years ago so it could GTFO of that watery death trap.

We don't care how long you've waited after eating to swim, you are officially never allowed to go into the sea again. Don't argue with us … just take off your floaties and get in the car.

Look, kid, the bottom line is you shouldn't have to climb into the rotting, floating arcass of a dead whale to not get ripped to shreds by sharks. There are lakes. There are pools. Hell, there are bathtubs where you could go for a merry swim in without the burden of having to locate a behemoth corpse to survive in.

Because given what happened to this man during his little ocean frolic, it's no wonder sea life sprouted legs a billion years ago so it could GTFO of that watery death trap. Let his struggle be a lesson to us all.

By the way, if you ever break our family rule and venture into the massive graveyard that is the sea, do not go swimming next to a whale carcass. There is literally 129 million square miles of other, non-shark-food water you could be splashing around in. Don't be a dumbass.