So long, self-esteem!

For any male who has spent even the briefest moment inside of a sex shop, the ideal cylindrical polyurethane whatchamacallit a woman would prefer to have inside of her vagina is slightly intimidating. From robotic dildos seemingly attached to car batteries to multi-headed hydras, it’s pretty obvious that the male “member” will need millions of years to catch-up with current unrealistic orgasmic expectations.

To further exacerbate this simulacrum someone thought it would be great to interview a group of porn stars (women who have presumably seen some of the most dastardly dongs known to man) about their ideal penis size.

Well as one of the young actresses put it: “Too big would be this.” As she displays her forearm and clenched fists for all clarification. Another lady quite eloquently describes her perfect penis as: “A choady little soup can.”

Okay then, so we’re looking at a happy medium somewhere between a can of Campbell’s soup and a Louisville Slugger? Got it …