What's the likelihood? Oh girl, you said the magic word. I'm about to get all "A Beautiful Mind" on you. Given that there are currently 151.4 million men in the US, and at any given time, around 20% of them experience low libido for a variety of a reasons, that means that 30.3 million men don't want to fuck you.

What's the likelihood? Oh girl, you said the magic word. I'm about to get all "A Beautiful Mind" on you.

Given that there are currently 151.4 million men in the US, and at any given time, around 20% of them experience low libido for a variety of a reasons, that means that 30.3 million men don't want to fuck you.

Do you need some ice for that burn? No? Okay, moving on.

Condom use rates among American adult men is 24.7%. That means 75.3% of adult men are down get down without a condom.

That also means that, if there are 30.3 million men who are not DTF, and 24.7% of them use condoms regularly …. it's safe to assume that around 7.5 million men don't want to fuck you because they don't have a condom or at least a Ziploc bag or something.

And the grand finale: 7.5 million men who don't want to fuck you because they don't have a condom / 151.4 million men in the US = 5%. There's a 5% chance he doesn't want to fuck you for a lack of a latex barrier.

Of course, that number would be more accurate if I took regional variances and population and local STD rates into account, but what do I look like to you, a goddamn calculator? Oh, I do? Thanks … I've been working on my 30035.

Anyway, statistically speaking, this dude doesn't really want to fuck you … but, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe he's gotten a rabid case of gonorrhea in the past, or maybe his sperm is so fertile that it impregnates chicks just by winking suggestively at them.

Maybe he grew up during the worst of the AIDS epidemic and has neurotic condom use permanently burned into his cerebral cortex. Maybe he's secretly fathered over 20 children, named them all J-names, but has run out of J-names, and consequentially cannot have any more spawn roaming the earth.

Or, maybe he really doesn't want to fuck you. The chances that you'd get to the point of fucking him, only to be rejected at the last minute are slim. Like I said, 5%.

But within that doesn't mean you don't smell like vinegar tonight, or that he remembered he had a girlfriend, or that he doesn't think you might be home to a wonderful array of STDs. Maybe you have a tattoo on your FUPA that says "My dad's gonna kill you." Maybe he has a penis shaped like a croque monsieur and doesn't want you to see it.

But regardless what the reason or likelihood is, you should always be glad that you didn't raw dog it with someone who wasn't confident about raw dogging it. Use condoms whenever you can. Even if you're on birth control and your boyfriend is impotent and you've only ever had sex with each other; slap one on there every once and a while for the sake of novelty.

In fact, I like that this dude was hesitant about doing you without a studded Magnum. That means he thinks ahead. The man knows what he wants.

Don't be offended by him. Do cure your case of Chlamydia. Don't write him off as "asexual" or "square." Do go buy yourself a pack of pumpkin-spice flavored condoms. Keep it seasonal.