We always knew Sparky would make a great hamburger. Turns out, so did many of the people in the city of Yulin in the Guangxi Province. Each year, the local inhabitants come together to "cherish their city's dog-meat culture, which involves the mass consumption of dog-meat hotpot served with lychees and strong grain liquor." If that doesn't give you a slight inkling for lunch then we don't know what will. 

But with all great things, someone has to come along and pee on the parade. Local animal rights groups are outraged by such behavior claiming that 10,000 dogs are consumed during the festival. 

"We have seen animals beaten just before being cooked," Du Yufeng, founder of Chinese animal rights group Boai Small Animal Protection Center, told the Agence France-Presse. "The more we inspect, the more cruelty we discover."

First, since when did China have an animal rights group? Second, if you beat a dog before cooking it, does it tenderize the meat? Du's cries for indecency haven't fallen on deaf ears and due to online activism, the Chinese government is sending officials to monitor the situation and make sure the festival falls within the morals of the Chinese government — aka they don't fucking care. It's like sending a fat kid to monitor a butter eating contest. He already eats butter and is only attending because he secretly knows he'll get a stick of butter at some point. 

There is hope for the hopeful, last year, a South Korean dog-eating festival was canceled due to an outpour of animal activism. So there you have it, things might look up for Scruffy. Then again, would you rather live on the streets of China or be served for dinner at a street stand?

On another note, we're still not sure what's in our Kung Pao beef, but we're starting to suspect our local Chinese restaurant isn't an animal activist.