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It's come to my attention that there is more biological variation in clitoral size and appearance than I was aware of.
I knew they all looked different. I knew some were big and some were small. I knew some were like "Hey, I'm almost a dick," and that's great. But after falling clit-first into an internet k-hole of inner labia imagery over the weekend (don't ask), I've been been affronted with what I can only describe as a clitoral encyclopedia.
There are so. Many. Types. Of. Clits. You guys … there are like five. Five main ones, at least. This is a beautiful thing, and only serves to prove the point that female anatomy and pleasure don't come prepackaged. Rather, these things exist on a spectrum in which every woman's sexual appearance and needs are unique to her. Very chill.
But, as the person interfacing with these varied clit types, I think you should know what to do with them. So, I did a weirdly aggressive amount of Craigslisting and was able to speak with a handful of women of different clitoral predispositions over email to find out what kind of stimulation their unique clit size and shape demands.
Disclaimer: When I talk about clits being hooded or unhooded, I'm talking very broadly. The range of coverage the clitoral hood has is vast, but you should be able to tell on a basic level whether it's fully covered or not. For our purposes, fully covered(ish) = hooded. Any clit visible = un-hooded.
Size is also relative. Clits can range from being almost imperceptible to looking like full-blow micropeens. A small clit is generally about the size of a grain of rice. A medium clit is around the size of a small kernel of corn, a pea or a pebble. A large clit is usually anything bigger.
Small and un-hooded
Stimulation desired: Gentle and very precise.
While there's no scientific evidence that smaller clits need more stimulation per se, the general consensus seems to be that they really need precise stimulation. With a larger clit, you can stimulate the "general" area and produce pleasure because you've got a larger surface area to work with, but with a little thing, you really have to know what you're looking for.
"My clit is very small, and I generally find I have to let my partner know when she's hitting it," one woman from Craiglist told me. "Once I let her know she's on it, she stays right there and it works great."
To find it with your face, take the point of your tongue, swirl it around her vaginal opening for shits ang giggles, then slowly lick upwards until you feel the inverted V where her labial lips part. Her clit should be right at the top of that (all clits are). Apply very gentle pressure with the tip of your tongue, using smaller strokes and circles than you're used to so you're staying on her clit the whole time. Because she's un-hooded (or relatively so), use a softer pressure to start out with, and gradually increase it if she feels like she needs more stimulation.
Last thing: women with small clits seem to crave vaginal stretching more than others since it flattens their clits against their pubic bones. This creates a pleasurable sensation, and also stimulates the internal structures of the clitoris that wrap around the vaginal canal, squeezing it as they engorge during arousal. This is good news for smaller women, because internally, most clits are around the same size; it's more the external structures that vary. You can also stimulate the internal clit by gently pressing down on her lower abdomen about an inch above her pubic bone. This allows her to experience clitoral simulation more fully, as her small clit might be more difficult to excite solely through external touch.
Small and hooded
Stimulation desired: Broad, flat, gently tugging.
All the information above seems to also be true for women with small, hooded clits, but the hood itself seems to invite a preference for a different type of touch: broad and tugging. Think of it this way: you could use the tip of your pointer finger and that would be precise and direct, or you could horizontally place the pad of your thumb parallel to her clit and rub up and down, and that would be broad and flat.
"My clit can be a bit hard to find under the hood, so what feels really good to me is when someone flattens their tongue and makes broad, strong strokes upwards. This gently lifts my hood and gives my clit a bit of a stretch," one woman told me.
Another told me she likes to use a Hitachi Wand to stimulate her clit, because the broad, round head kind of squishes her clit around under her hood, and the friction between her clit and hood feels great. For many un-hooded women, direct vibration can be slightly more overwhelming (or totally awesome if you do it right), but for hooded women, the added layer of skin means they can apply more varied methods of texture and vibration without the threat of oversensitivity.
Medium and un-hooded
Stimulation desired: Not anything in particular, so ask them about it first.
This clit type is probably what you're most used to seeing in medical diagrams and on porn stars with perfect, surgically enhanced pussies, but still, it comes with its own unique needs.
"People tend to assume that because they can see my clit when it's hard, I want it rubbed aggressively. That's not the case," another Craisglist respondent with a medium un-hooded clit wrote me. She's speaking to the fact that because this clit type is the most visually familiar, the people who handle them believe they have the greatest understanding of what to do with them. For this reason, women with medium, un-hooded clits find themselves subject to a wide array of touch tactics they feel are more likened to porn than they are to real life. They get the million-mile-an-hour flicky tongue, the window-wiper finger movement, and the awkward pinch-y thing.
Some women love these moves, but in reality, what women with this clit type really want is greater communication about their needs. The same is definitely true for all women, and you should never just assume that two women with the same clit want it touched the same way, but these women in particular expressed a desire to be asked by their partners what feels right.
They also really liked the feeling of lips as opposed to tongues: "I love when my man lightly sucks on my clit with his lips," said one woman. Makes sense; medium clits are usually big enough to suck on, and having a smaller hood only facilitates that. Word. Moving on.
Medium and hooded
Stimulation desired: Tandem G-Spot stimulation.
Interestingly, the greatest amount of women I talked to on Craigslist self-identified as having a medium, hooded clit. When I asked them what type of stimulation felt best for them, many of them expressed a need for G-Spot stimulation in conjunction with clitoral stimulation.
This makes perfect sense. The hood of a medium clit may ever-so-slightly dull sensation, yet the vaginal stretch offered by G-Spot stimulation confers that pleasure inwards.
"I'm hooded, so sometimes oral doesn't really do it for me. I crave the feeling of a thumb or finger on my clit over the hood, slowly stroking it, while my partner simultaneously rubs me inside," a woman wrote to me.
This is not to say that all women with medium hooded clits don't explode during oral sex, but the extra skin does invite a deeper tactile sensation, and the hood does mean you should consider going the internal-clit route too.
This move ostensibly feels great for nearly every woman, but … it was what was requested by medium hooded clit people so … do it.
Large (probably will not have much of a hood if it's large)
Stimulation desired: Stroking and sucking.
Women with large clits wrote in that they liked it when their partners treated their clits like small penises, manually stroking them with lots of lube, or bobbing their mouths up and down on it.
However, having a large clit doesn't necessarily make it more sensitive. One woman told me she's got a baby carrot down south and she's still never come from oral sex.
Bonus fun fact: For any clit type, it's ultra-important that things are slippery and wet. Make sure you finger her a little to get her natural vaginal lubrication onto her clit, or apply a really silky, non-sticky lube to her clit before you touch it with your hands. If you're just licking it, the moisture from your spit should be enough, but as a general rule of thumb: the wetter the better.
I also wondered which types of clits partners preferred, so I asked some straight men and lesbians on Craigslist, and honestly … I could not come up with a general preference. Many people who eat pussy regularly find novelty in large clits, because they can be stroked and sucked not unlike small penises, but others relished in the sexual prowess they felt in themselves after being able to make a woman with a small clit come. Nobody mentioned a preference for medium sized clits, but I can only imagine this is because the question "What size clit do you prefer" kind of begs that people categorize their answers as either large or small.
So, no matter what you're working with under the hood (or un-hood), all I have to say is be confident in what you have. Chances are, there are million other women with your same pussy, and a million other partners who crave the appearance, taste, and sensation your clit offers them.
Great talk.
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