America doesn't know how to go down on women. So, that's why in this week's issue of Head Games, we talked to someone who knows more about eating girls out than anyone we've ever met; a lovely lesbian lady who's rave reviews of her oral skills have earned her the nickname "Don Juan with Boobs."

Congratulations, head enthusiast; you're about to experience Head Games, a weekly column where we discuss oral sex with people from all walks of life. Whether we're covering how to connect your mouth to someone's genitals in the most pleasing way possible, or how different cultures and species blow each other, it'll be covered here, in this fellatio-friendly corner of the internet. Welcome aboard.

America doesn't know how to go down on women. We discovered this partially through rigorous R&D, and partially though searching Google for an image to go with this installment of Head Games. Out of the 17 billion search results Google found, eh, like two of them were SFW depictions of cunninlingus. The rest were kinda derogatory memes or straight-up porn. That was in stark contrast to last week, in which our Google search for "giving head" yielding a plethora of SFW, usable images so diverse, it was like Jamroquai concert. And if Google is unfamiliar with stock image or editorial depictions of oral sex for the ladies, we're pretty sure everyone else is equally as ??? about it. So, that's why in this week's issue of Head Games, we talked to someone who knows more about eating girls out than anyone we've ever met; a lovely lesbian lady.

But this girl isn't just any lesbian lass. Known to some as "Don Juan with Boobs" to some, our lessie has spent a lifetime researching and experimenting with oral sex techniques, and the amount of rave reviews she's received is, as far as we can tell, slowly reaching Magic Johnson level. One of her conquests described her night with our friend as "hallucinatory," which can only mean this chick knows what she's talking about. So, let's all lean in real close and hear what she has to say.


Hello, mankind. So many girls I've known claim that they don't like oral sex. This may be true some of the time, but my hunch is that no one ever did it the right way. What's the right way? This way:

1. Do not be afraid of hair.

It's not gonna try to eat you back, you're not gonna choke. every woman and vagina is different, and you should be so lucky as to put your face in any of 'em.

Tell her how sexy her hair is. Tell her how good she tastes. Do NOT ask her to shave her pubes in exchange for oral sex. Do NOT make her feel self-conscious. If you do, she won't cum and you're just a dick.  So much of female arousal is based off of feeling comfortable and attractive, so if you really want to please her, make her feel beautiful and confident.

That said, don't ever try to do something that she isn't comfortable with. The more relaxed she is with you, and with her own body, the better the experience will be for all involved.

2. Use your eyes and your ears.

Listen to her, watch her movements, and go from there. If she's laying flat, not moving a muscle, she probably isn't that into it. However, if she starts rocking her pelvis in a certain direction or slows/speeds up the pace, follow her movements. She's not fucking your face so that you will have a mouth-gasm … she's fucking your face to get herself off – so help her out and follow her lead.

3. Use more than your tongue.

A lot of things on your face feel good shoved into vagina … not just your tongue. Use your lips (as long as they're not covered in whiskers – for fucks' sake guys, trim your 'stache.)

Kiss her lips with yours. Use your whole tongue. None of that pointy tongue. You aren't poking, you are trying to give her an orgasm.

Move slow. Use all of your mouth to explore her.

4. Vaginal stimulation plus clitoral stimulation equals blastoff.

I only very rarely cum from oral sex without both. Perhaps your lady-friend can, but show her that you understand that the female body is complex. Give her fingers, or a dildo, along with your mouth.

If you're penetrating, try your hardest to multitask and keep sliding whatever you're fucking her with in and out of her; sometimes people get caught up in the licking and the fucking, and only focus on one. But get in a rhythm that she likes, and try to kill two birds with one stone.

If your girl is into butt stuff, lick around her anus or stick a finger or toy into there while you continue to use your mouth on her clit. Bonus points if you can stimulate her clit, pussy, and ass all at once.

5. Angles, angles, angles.

Even if you're not 69ing – try out a different angle. So many people get trapped in the missionary-esque position – "lady on her back, you're on your stomach, face in her crotch." BORING.

Try pleasuring her from various angles, you'll find parts of her that you never knew existed. The right amount of variation is key. I cum instantly when being gone down on with another babe's bits in my face, probably because I love to watch them and it feels reeeeeally nice when somebody moans into my cunt. But also, the feeling of a tongue going from my front towards my back/top to bottom drives me absolutely wild.

You don't need to straddle her face, but try something different from what the last joker tried on her. Have her sit on your face, facing towards your head. This is an especially good position if she is comfortable and a lover who likes to be in charge. She can set the pace and fuck you, and you just lie back and take it.

But, don't expect that just because she's down to sit on your face that she wants to pleasure you at the same time. Maybe she does, but give her the opportunity to be sole receiver. Another great position to allow her to do that is when she's on her hands and knees in doggy, but you come in from behind and eat her out from a direction she's not used to.

In any position (other than her being on top), try boosting her up. Put a pillow underneath her bum – this will help you avoid a neck-ache, and give you a better angle for both vaginal and clitoral stimulation.

… and a few key things to remember:

Never use your nose. That's fucking weird.

There are different types of clitoral stimulation; there's fast and quick, slow and pulling, flicking, circles, sucking … I could go on. Try them all out and see which ones she responds to the best.

Gently spread her inner lips apart with your fingers. It makes her feel really vulnerable (in a good way) and the stretch of it feels insane.

Some girls like eye contact, and some hate it. If she's staring right into your soul, look back into her eyes every now and then to make her feel connected to you. But if she's closing her eyes or tilting her head back, there's no need to try for eye contact.

Her pussy isn't a dick. Don't speed up and go harder just because she shows you she's into it. If you strike a chord she likes, keep with the pace and pressure, and slowly, slowly go a little harder.

That's it! Godspeed, muff divers.