Your parents are at the root of your problems: welcome to the club, Bernard Bey. The 32 year-old Brooklyn man delivered a self-written lawsuit to the Brooklyn court earlier this month accusing his parents of causing his mental anguish and forcing him to feel "unloved and beaten by the world" thus leaving him homeless and unemployed.    

For his physical and emotional abuse, Bernard Bey is seeking compensation to the tune of $200,000 and two Domino's franchises – pizza being the only logical compensation for a life of parental torture. Bey demands that his parents mortgage their home in order purchase the Domino's franchises. They live in public housing.  

Believe it or not, there is a silver lining to this family tale: Bey explains that the franchises will not only benefit him and his current children, but his future children as well. 

"I feel like my parents should want the best for their children and grandchildren so we have something to pass down for generations so we don't have to live like this."

We couldn't have said it any better Bey. And since the system is built to accept these types of lawsuits, we say find yourself a lawyer fresh out of law school and go at your parents as if they actually had money.