He just wanted to eat his Big Mac. We totally get that.

There's a saying we just made up that goes like this: "Big Macs first, jail later." Ohioan Randall Miller knows what we're talking about.

He was arrested for drunk driving and being an asshole, after he nearly demolished a pedestrian, then went through the McDonald's drive thru to evade police officers. Randall, aka Mr. Cool Guy, got himself a badass Big Mac, and ate it as he was going through the drive thru. He said he was buying himself time and he "just wanted to eat his burger." The man had had about 10-15 beers, and had several more open in his car. What can we say? The man has his priorities straight.

Police had to get him to stop eating his delicious Big Mac so they could give him a less-delicious field sobriety test. He blew a 0.255 BAC, which for all you perfect little angels who haven't had a DUI, is a fuck-ton. He was arrested for drunk driving and fleeing an officer, but at least he got his Big Mac.