Mug Shot Friday: Reminding you to skip that threesome with your cousin and that Jusin Bieber sucks eternally. Match the mugshot to the photo for a chance to feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Mugshot Friday is back, and ready to entertain. Match the pic to the story for a chance to feel like the big, smart guy or gal you are. Let's do this.
1. All in the Family
Terry Antone Jenkins was arrested last week after a threesome with his girlfriend and her cousin went terribly awry. According to Huffington Post, Terry had his little Terry orgasm and finished, but the two cousins continued to go down on each other. Terry no like that. Terry mad! He freaked, prying his girlfriend from the labia of her cousin and dragging her out of the bedroom by her hair, and beating her in the hallway. Despite his denial that he hit either cousin, he was taken to jail, but released later that day only to return to his girlfriend's house for another round of ass whoopin'. He then proceeded to steal her cell phone and car, in a rage, presumably because said girlfriend's cousin had way more skill in the sack than he did. He was tracked down, stuck in the slammer, and charged with a myriad of shit. And that, people, is why you don't fuck around with your cousins. Terry out!
2. Not "Lovin' It"
Out of all the McDonald's in the world, Felix Beccera thought he'd like to rob one McDonald's in particular: the one he was the manager of. He was arrested in san Leandro, CA after he was caught robbing two McDonald's restaurants, the first one being his. At about 3 AM on August 28th, Felix, who had outfitted himself in a white mask and gloves, climbed through the drive-thru window at his "office," and proceeded to herd his own employees into the refrigerator while he robbed the cash register. Apparently the high-stakes adrenaline rush from robbing a McDonald's proved to be too much, and Felix had to strike again. So, on September 2nd, he robbed another McDonalds. Police, being police, put two and two together, and realized the hamburgler might be Beccera. Then, one of his employees came forward saying she had "got the nerve to look him in the eye" and recognized him, which led to his arrest. So, next time you rob a McDonalds, make sure you don't work there. You'll have a much better chance of escaping with the whole $50.85 you probably stole.
3. Justin Bieber = Asshole
Upon her arrest for drunk and disorderly conduct, wasted woman Melissa Nava's drunk goggles kicked in a very strange way. She thought, upon seeing the face of the cop who was arresting her, that she was being detained by none other than pubescent pop superstar Justin Bieber. "Fuck you, Justin Bieber!" she bellowed at the cop, who reportedly looks nothing like the baby-faced teen. The cop was so offended by the comparison, that he retrieved a "spit hood" (like the one below) and stuck it over her face for the whole ride to prison. The sheriff spokesperson on the case noted that the case of mistaken identity was an "indicator of just how intoxicated" Melissa was, but we're on her side. Bieber = asswipe, and you should blame everything bad that happens to you on him.
Answers: 1=C, 2=A, 3=B