A hugely popular petition to banish the Biebs is underway, and so far 73,000 of your fellow Americans have signed it. Only 26,000 more signatures are required to deport that little ball of furious puberty!
"We the people of the US feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture," is how the petition to deport Justin Bieber begins. A petition that 73,000 Americans have signed in a desperate effort to banish the squirrely pip-squeak back from whence he came (Canada/land of maple syrup).
The petition continues, "We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society." Harsh. Deliciously, deliciously harsh.
In just four days, the petition was signed 45,000 times, well on its way to the 100,000 mark that merits an official response from the Obama administration. Technically, to be eligible for deportation, one must be convicted of an aggravated felony, a crime of "moral turpitude", or any crime with a prison sentence of at least a year. Shit, do you think being a pissy little douche-face counts as "moral turpitude?" Crossing our fingers.
We're wondering though…if he does get deported back to Canada, whether egging people's houses will just result in delicious breakfasts. We mean, there's maple syrup for days there, and maple syrup + eggs = breakfast of kings.
A rival petition, which pleads the US government to keep the Biebs stateside because he is "a human being who makes mistakes," has only garnered 537 signatures, most of which are probably from this girl:
If you would like to deport Justin Bieber, go here.