For being a demonic mini-Satan, professional asshole Justin Bieber is actually really funny. It hurt so bad to say that.

For being a demonic mini-Satan, professional asshole Justin Bieber is actually really funny. It hurt so bad to say that.

He did what could have been an Emmy-winning stand-up routine in Miami last week during a deposition in connection to a battery lawsuit filed in June by photographer Jeffrey Binion. The clearly pissy Bieber recorded his feelings about film (he prefers traditional formats), Katie Couric (no thank you), Usher (uh?), and ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez (shut the fuck up), all which were delivered with the kind of defiant teenage apathy only possible in someone with his haircut.

Included in his comedy routine are such knee-slappers as "I don't know if I've ever been to Australia. Have I ever been to Australia?" and "I was found on YouTube … I think I was detrimental to my own career."