Breaking news: Despite being Bill Gates, Bill Gates sucks at giving gifts.


Guess who just got a cow, bitches?

Rachel did. Kind of.

Rachel was one of thousands of participants who signed up for Reddit's annual Secret Santa gift exchange. Basically, you post a wishlist, and a little info about your interests, and someone chooses you at random to shower with gifts. And for Rachel, that someone just happened to be world's richest man, BIll Gates. Bill! Gates!

In a post entitled "Spoiler alert: Bill Gates did not get you, because he got me," Rachel describes her long "journey" toward discovering the identity of her Secret Santa.

Upon recieving a 7 lb. box in the mail from her mystery Santa, Rachel opened it to find a copy of National Geographic's Journeys of a Lifetime: 500 of the World's Greatest Trips, a book that cost world's richest man, Bill Gates, all of $28.00. She also found a stuffed cow, a card, and a photo in the box.

The card, signed "Happy Holidays, world's richest man, Bill Gates," (kidding) informed her that a donation in her name had been made to Heifer International, a nonprofit that provides needy families with cows.

So wait, let us correct ourselves. World's richest man Bill Gates didn't buy Rachel a cow, he bought someone else a cow.

Okay, let's all let out a collective "Aww." Bill is so nice, what with his cow-giving and all. But come on. You'd think that, being world's richest man Bill Gates, he could of at least hooked her up with a white tiger cub or a diamond-encrusted airplane or something, but nooo.

Rachel thanked rich guy Bill Gates profusely for the book and non-cow, but did apologize for asking for an iPad. That must have been awkward. Moral of the story? Bill Gates sucks at Christmas.