You really can't just ask a girl to marry you anymore. These days, you have to be a big, rich, emotionally-vulnerable-yet-still-kind-of-masculine-man taking your future wife on a rollercoaster of emotions, hidden cameras, and dancing. Otherwise, sorry but you're gonna die alone.

Give us 27 minutes and we'll give you the strongest argument you've ever seen against matrimony. Unless you're the romantic type. In that case, this video is going to make your look like the ultimate flaccid penis of proposals.

Exhibit A: Justin Baldoni's cinematic emotional music video proposal to his girlfriend, Emily. Who the fuck is Justin Baldoni? Don't look at us. Look at this instead:

If you have a job or a life or something, here's some highlights via Gawker: