absurdist news Archives - Rooster Magazine

absurdist news

News Briefs

Alligator of Happy Gilmore Fame Passes Away At Age of 80 in Southern Colorado.

News Briefs

Five Things We’ll Get Before We Get Grand Theft Auto VI

News Briefs

Absurdist News – 600 Pounds of Marijuana Taken From CSP Evidence Lockup.

News Briefs

Absurdist News – Colorado Men Attempt to Use Cannon to Launch Tobacco and Meth into Louisiana Prison

News Briefs

Absurdist News: The Weaponizable Potential of Hacking Sex Toys

News Briefs

Dutch Art Exhibit of Two Beer Cans Thrown Into Trash By Museum Staff Member

News Briefs

Coloradans Line Up To Eat at Restaurant Specializing in Chicken Salad

News Briefs

The South Has Vending Machines Selling Bullets as We Continue Our Nationwide Search for the 50 Cent Mountain Dew

News Briefs

Colorado to Deploy Drones as First Responders to 911 Calls

News Briefs

Multiple Deer and Elk Attacks Confirmed Across State as the War Against Grazing Herd Animals Falls Upon Us

News Briefs

Texas Court Rules Library Must Reinstate Banned Books Involving Butts and Farts

News Briefs

Scientists Create AI Toddler, Combining Our Two Greatest Fears

News Briefs

Colorado Owl Rescued From Pit Toilet Basin (Insert Shitty Fowl Pun Here)

News Briefs

South Korean Man Killed By Industrial Machine That Identified Him as a Box

News Briefs

Overhead Helicopters Make Australian Crocodiles Horny, Mating Frenzy Ensues

News Briefs

RMNP Proposes “Educational Permit” System for Accessing Longs Peak

News Briefs

Judge Orders More Fines For Colorado Company That Tried to Pay Settlement with Three Tons of Coins

News Briefs

Cooler Than Donated Fighter Jets? Adviser to Putin says U.S. is Brainwashing Ukranians to Create Gay Super Soldiers

News Briefs

Giant Kites Could Pull Cargo Ships Across Ocean as Modern Media Continues to Gaslight You About Sailboats