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News Briefs
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Kansas proves it’s good for something and builds world’s tallest water slide.
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Does this look like a log flume enthusiast who’s banned from all Six Flags theme parks?
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Does this church look like a penis? Yes. Yes it does.
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Announcing the worst thing that ever happened: woman bites into banana that’s bursting with deadly spiders
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Usain Bolt says the key to his olympic training was eating 100 chicken nuggets a day and having tons of random sex. Who are we to disagree?
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Only in America: 3 stories that would never happen anywhere else
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Nothing says sensitivity like these 7 funeral selfies
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Belieber spends life savings on surgery to make him look like Justin Bieber. We say solid investment.
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Man not about to let some measly wall stand between him and his pudding
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American hero fights for freedom by demanding more ranch dressing at Jack in the Box
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Couple’s world crumbles after neighborhood Wendy’s burns to the ground
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Only man in history to refuse a threesome gets stabbed in the eye for it. Damn right.
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What if you came home and Coolio was just in your house cooking you dinner?
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Philadelphia preschooler knows what he wants to be when he grows up: on crack
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Parents outraged after discovering that their child’s Spanish teacher is the most beautiful woman alive
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Turns out Ukrainian train tracks are not the best place to have an orgasm
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NASA will make it rain on you if you promise not to move for 70 days
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Man arrested for stealing midget porn apparently hasn’t heard of the internet
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Faceoff: drunk man dressed as woman vs. other drunk man dressed as woman
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Kanye West Shouldn’t Have Fucked With Croissants.
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Drunk equestrian restores the balance of masculinity to the streets of Boulder
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It’s National Grandparents Day. Here’s how to celebrate if you’re grandparent-less
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Five news stories that are a) terrifying; and b) would make the most excellent Halloween costumes
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Rooster’s Weekly Clusterf*ck of News
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Kickoff to April 2026: Kickoff To April Winner’s Row Gallery
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