News Briefs

News Briefs

Nothing says sensitivity like these 7 funeral selfies

News Briefs

Belieber spends life savings on surgery to make him look like Justin Bieber. We say solid investment.

News Briefs

Man not about to let some measly wall stand between him and his pudding

News Briefs

American hero fights for freedom by demanding more ranch dressing at Jack in the Box

News Briefs

Couple’s world crumbles after neighborhood Wendy’s burns to the ground

News Briefs

Only man in history to refuse a threesome gets stabbed in the eye for it. Damn right.

News Briefs

What if you came home and Coolio was just in your house cooking you dinner?

News Briefs

Philadelphia preschooler knows what he wants to be when he grows up: on crack

News Briefs

Parents outraged after discovering that their child’s Spanish teacher is the most beautiful woman alive

News Briefs

Turns out Ukrainian train tracks are not the best place to have an orgasm

News Briefs

NASA will make it rain on you if you promise not to move for 70 days

News Briefs

Man arrested for stealing midget porn apparently hasn’t heard of the internet

News Briefs

Faceoff: drunk man dressed as woman vs. other drunk man dressed as woman

News Briefs

Kanye West Shouldn’t Have Fucked With Croissants.

News Briefs

Drunk equestrian restores the balance of masculinity to the streets of Boulder

News Briefs

It’s National Grandparents Day. Here’s how to celebrate if you’re grandparent-less

News Briefs

Five news stories that are a) terrifying; and b) would make the most excellent Halloween costumes

News Briefs

Rooster’s Weekly Clusterf*ck of News

News Briefs

Chinese Romeo tries to perform exorcism on woman’s ‘vaginal ghosts’ with his penis. Brilliant.

News Briefs

The Inspiration For Drake’s Haircut Finally Revealed.

News Briefs

Porn moratorium after actress tests positive for HIV forces us to use our imagination

News Briefs

CHAOS ALERT: Connecticut terrorized by teenagers who still think David Hasselhoff is ‘ironic’

News Briefs

What do you mean you don’t want a massage from this guy? Man arrested for giving unwanted back rubs

News Briefs

Topless Babes Help Danish Police Enforce Speed Limits